Dreams Come True; The Unforeseen Effects of Palm Readings and Chinese Lessons

So much has happened since I last posted that I don't know where to begin. After much deliberation, I have decided that I shall proceed in chronological order, being the most logical and story-like.

This past weekend, work was hectic like always. I really enjoy working with kids, but being a substitute is a whole other story. I only see these children for 2 hours once, and they clearly understand that I have no real power over them. This is a far cry from my student teaching, when I taught the same class, six hours a day, five days a week. I absolutely loved that, and I definately miss it. 

Anyway, Sunday night I headed over to a Chinese family's house to help their kids with their English. The family was so friendly! They fed me this strange fruit and simultaneously drilled me on life in America and how I found life in China. One woman casually mentioned that she was a fortune teller, and if I ever wanted my palm read she would read it. I replied with an unsure, "um, well.... YES, DO IT NOW!". 

I have always wanted to have my palm read; Dream Come True #1  this week. Some of what she told me was strange, and some just as strange in how true it was. Now, I feel much more prepared for the future, knowing vaguely what will happen. The results of my reading include (but are not limited to):

1. I am very honest.         (True)

2. I am a sincere friend.       (Totally True)

3. I will have only one serious relationship, which will end in marriage.      (True/ Perhaps)

4. My marriage will be very stable and happy.       (Totally True)

6. I will get very sick between the ages of 55 and 60, but will live beyond this in health after I recover.       (Perhaps)

7. I am a picky eater.         (Not even close to the ball park)

8. I prefer, and should, eat hot foods for better health (like soup and spicy foods, which I LOVE)      (Totally True)

9. Apparently there's a problem with my kidney.        (Perhaps [I Should See a Doctor])

10. My 'Wisdom Line' is unbelievably long.           (Utterly Undoubtable)

As you can see, I rated each foretelling on a scale ranging from "Not Even Close to the Ball Park," to "Utterly Undoubtable".  From these findings, I can see my life in a nutshell; a great friend, superb wife, and spicy food lover, falling suddenly ill at 55 from a broken (much more dramatic than failing) kidney and then miraculously recovering! And, all the while, shocking the world with her 'utterly' infinite wisdom.

Overall, not a bad eulogy. I think I should rather enjoy living from now on.

Moving on, the week has been just as eventful. Tuesday, it was one foreign teachers' birthdays. Missing desperately the divine taste of western foods, we headed to celebrate the occasion at Crown Plaza Hotel, breakfast buffet extraordinaire. They had everything, ranging from museli and yogurt to sushi, to french toast and baked beans (which they apparently eat for breakfast in England). Our group stayed for about two and a half hours, eating enough food to feed a small army of grown men. Later, we raided the DVD mart, where you can buy tons of DVDs for dirt cheap. This operation, run out of a small corner at the end of a hallway, was obviously illegal, but that word has no meaning here. I bought about 10 movies, beginning the massive stash of stuff I am sure to bring home with me from China.

This week I also went to a cultural market with a friend. This was so much fun! There were tons of paintings and statues, among other cultural things. I bought a few paintings, which were on really thin paper and pretty cheap. Great decorations for my room, plus I figure I can frame them when I get back to the States. What made this experience so much better was that I could use my new Chinese haggling skills: Dream Come True #2 this week. Seriously, being able to speak and be understood makes me almost freakishly giddy. I bargained, understood, told a woman that I was going to look around more and then come back, and then even asked for change. Overall, I think the word I would use to describe myself would be awesome. Utterly Awesome.

After this, we climbed up the small nearby Hiro Mountain and admired the picturesque scenery for a short time. Then, we headed to meet with a Chinese woman who wants to help me learn Chinese. Sitting in her cozy home, we were nearly force fed soup, with dried dates and duck eggs insistantly thrown in, and learned some very useful chinese phrases. We even got a private piano performance from her daughter. So much fun! The Chinese people are quite friendly and sometimes oddly enthusiastic about helping out Westerners. Not that I mind; it's a great way to really get in touch with the culture. Next week we're going back to learn how to make dumplings! And, again, I feel myself becoming freakishly giddy!

Chinese learning is going very well. I've learned many useful phrases, like "What time is it?" and "I want this one, please". In addition to the useful, I've mastered the absolutely necessary; "You're a slut!", "I will hit you!",  and "I have superpowers!" have allowed me to survive safely in China thus far. What's even more hysterical is when you translate it online, and put the translations back through to English. For example "I will hit you!"  becomes "I will agressively attack you in the face!" Also, if you asked me, I would tell you that the direct translation of 'manwhore' is 'duck lips', and 'plastic' is 'white pollution'. So, now you don't have to ask me because I already told you. You're welcome.

This weekend, I'm staying with a friend who lives in an apartment across the city. I'm substituting at Aston 3, which is way out of the way from Lixia Dasha, where I live. Everyone who teaches at that school lives closer to there, separating them somewhat from the rest of the group. Now, I can get to know them a bit better, and I won't spend a small fortune on taxi fees. Win Win Win.

Next week I'm going to Beijing for a few days, so we have some preparation to do for that. I've very excited to see the Great Wall! Dream Come True #3 is quickly approaching, most likely occurring amidst a wild fit of freakish giggles.