Top 10 Most Exciting Events from the Past Few Uneventful Days

As the title so subtly suggests, the past few days have been relatively uneventful. To sum them up in such a way as to make my life seem much more exciting than it truely is, I have created a top 10 list. The most exciting event is number 1, so don't be deterred by the mundanity of the preceding! 

In the Past Few Days, I ...

10. Have been woken up at unspeakable hours of the morning and night by fireworks. For the past 2 weeks, as it will be for a few weeks after Spring Festival as well, these completely random explosions (which sound frighteningly like gun shots) will be common place.

9.  Had the overwhelming urge to watch the 'Sound of Music'. After viewing and singing along with the loveable Von Trapp family, I was pleasantly surprised at the feeling of contentment that filled up every empty space in my body. A spoonful of Julie Andrews' sweet voice really does make the medicine go down.

8. Ate at a fabulous new Thai restaurant. The curry was to die for, and the spices lingered in my breath for ages. Mmmm.

7. Busted out the pollution mask, a popular accessory in Jinan. Not only does it keep unwanted dirt particles out of my airways, but it does wonders protecting my face from the cold. It also adverts 50% of unwanted stares, as there is 50% less of my face to stare at.

6. Watched the new American Idol on my computer via Slingbox.  I'm also all caught up on 24, which was simply AWESOME this season. Slingbox holds a coveted spot in my list of  'Top 10 Best Electronic Devices Ever Invented In the History of the World'. It rests somwhere between the lightbulb and the iPod , followed shortly by the microwave .

5. Was told I bear a striking resemblance to Loona Lovegood. Which is better than Hilary Clinton, but still, crazy. And fictional. 

 4. Taught my Adult Intensive course the correct usage of the term 'baller'. They were mostly university students, and, well, they needed to know.

3. Discovered a forgotten pouch my wallet, which was filled with little trinkets from my worldly travels. Included were: a ticket for a child's admission to Disneyland Paris, a Parisian Metro ticket, a golden 'Cusquena' beer label from Cusco, a card for the Family House (where I stayed in Peru), a card for a club in Shanghai, and and old receipt from New York and Company (where I worked for so long in Chicago). Cool, huh?

2. Got hit by a bike. I was walking nonchalantly down the sidewalk, when BAM! Out of the blue, I was knocked over from behind by an old gentleman (hold the gentle) on a bicycle. Apparently superstars can be invisible, too. Even when they wear bright yellow coats.

1. Saw a woman get nearly squished to death by a bus door. Taking public transportation can be a bit... invasive, for lack of a better word, during certain hours. Taking a bus home at this unfortunate hour, I had to literally thrust myself into the pack of people, pushing hard enough so that the door could close behind me. After a few stops I managed, in a completely uncharacteristic stroke of luck, to grab a seat, unknowingly for the spectacle to come. 

 

From my safe perch, I watched as the bus crammed even fuller over the next couple stops. At last, there was literally no more room. Even if we all breathed in at the same time, simultaneously sucking in our tummies, we could not have physically fit another person on that bus.

 

Against all odds and logic, one woman decided that she was getting on the bus, whether there was space for her or not. After a shouting match with the driver, she stubbornly refused to get off. The driver, with stout resolution written on his face, began to shut the front doors with his lever. The woman braced herself against the pressure of the doors as the look on the driver's face hardened and contorted with anger. The muscles in his arm contracted as he pulled the lever will all his strength, slamming the door shut against this woman's immobile body. I watched in undisguised shock as she squeezed her eyes shut - as if she thought this was the moment her superpower would emerge from with in, causing the door to shatter against her invincible figure. 

Her face began to shake violently in pain, growing more red by the second, and just when I thought blood would start shooting out of her ears, she surrendered, thowing herself out of the bus in defeat. 

What added to the absurdity of this was the fact that he other witnesses on the bus barely acknowledged this was happening. There were no angry shouts from fellow bus riders, nor amused looks as she willingly accepted her death by bus-door-squishing. 

And that, friends, if life in China.