Since my last entry, I’ve made a few decisions.

I have decided to take a step back and be the bigger person in this situation. I allow this family’s attitude to get to me. I allow myself to feel trapped and unhappy. Really, with a lot of work and support, I can begin to shut out this feeling. Not that it will be an easy feat, but it can be done. Bien sur, c'est posible.

I am planning to finish out the remaining 7 weeks (well, 7 weeks as of tomorrow at 12pm, but who’s counting?). I was thinking about quitting after July and spending the month living with Margaret, but with 3 weeks in the month of aout and an extra 500 euros in my pocket upon departure, I think I can take it.

The kids, although very badly behaved and completely ignorant of my instructions, are actually very sweet at times. Philippine, la moyenne, and Arthur, le petit, have begun to draw my pictures with saying such as ”Je t’aime de tout mon coeur,” frequently saying they love me, and cuddling with me during movies. The affection makes it seem that I do have some purpose in the job. They make me laugh more often now, and I scrounge what happiness I can from these moments. It’s moments like when they sporadically run and hug me that get me though the day whole.

Last night, I was invited to a BBQ by Gwen, a friend of Margaret. At first there were five of us, staked out in an overgrown garden building a fire and roasting chicken, sausage and kebobs. Ironically, there was no barbeque sauce, just ketchup. The French put ketchup on everything: fries, sandwiches, pasta, you name it.

A few more people showed up later, each exchanging two kisses on the cheek to every other person. There was great conversation cover a wide variety of topics, all of it in French. We talking about politics, music, movies, Ketchup, gas prices, family, likes, dislikes, and a ton of other things. Although by the end of the night (3am) I was utterly exhausted from the language, I felt great. It was a lot of fun hanging out with young, friendly people who were so kind and so inclusive of me. I am truly grateful! I’m sure that I’ll se seeing them again.

At one point, they asked me if I knew any bad words. Working with these children, of course I do. I rattled off a list, amidst much laughter, and then was asked about English bad words. One guy stepped up to the plate and without hesitation, with a thick accent, offered, “Yo mamma is a SLUT!” I just DIED. He had no idea what he said. Hysterical.

This weekend, I’m free! I’m going to do some sightseeing in Paris and possible lunch with another au pair, who knows. Margaret has given me the key to her house so I have an escape when she leaves for 3 weeks on vacation. The kids are at the garderie for 4 hours in the afternoon starting today, so that will be nice. Ahh, freedom.

Speaking of which, Happy Fourth of July. I have never appreciated a holiday with family, close friends, hot dogs, and fireworks as much as I do now. If there's one thing that I learn from my travels, it will be this: that America truely is an awesome place. I could settle no where else.