I, however, am not an Asian, contrary to popular belief. I'm a bona-fide white, blonde, Enlgish-speaking American girl. While at home, this might make me fade into the wallpaper of a crowded room, it has ordained me with a sort of high profile celebrity status here in Jinan.
Unlike Beijing or Shanghai, Jinan has little to offer to a tourist. Therefore, it's inhabitants rarely, if ever, see Western folk. China is very much it's own country, lacking the 'melting pot' effect of a multitude of cultures, appearances, and history; Jinan is very much the quintessential Chinese city in this regard. There is minute western influence and even less Western presence here. So, when I appear, like out of a dream, around the street corner with my blue jeans, blonde hair, and big sunglasses, this naturally attracts awe, surprise, and sometimes inspires minor riots.
Just like Britney Spears, I am stared at at all time. Not only stared at, but pointed at and pointed out to friends and small children. People shout 'MEIGOUREN!' (American) from their taxis, a triumphant look on their faces as their fellow passengers scramble to get a better look as they pass. Some even blatantly snap pictures of me looking at vegetables, or waiting for the bus. Or shaving my head bald with a crazed smile on my face.
Last night, a group of Western teachers went to this club, Chameleon, to partake in the free drinks and to support the Chinese girlfriend of one of our own. She's named Blue (adding to the list of unique Chinese names), speaks English very well, and is simply awesome. She was DJing, and, as I was watching her, I reminisced about the days when I was a star of a different kind. When Usher graced the club with his presence (vocally), 4 of us girls had raced to the dance floor (that was literally shaking beneath our feet, quite fun when everyone jumped at the same time!) and were immediately entrapped by a swarm of tall Asian men. They formed a tight circle around us, arching their arms above so that it formed a literal tent around our posse. I remembered my friend Russel Crowe, and resisted throwing any telephones or starting any horrible rock bands in protest.
When 'Beautiful Girls' by Sean Kingston hit the speakers, the tent collapsed. The men tried to no avail to sing along, only really knowing the words 'beautiful girl'. They fervently let us know what they thought by giving us two extremely enthusiastic thumbs up, pumping them infront of our faces and nodding to the beat. And that was me in a turtle neck. God know what would have happened it I wore, say, a tee shirt.
We were followed to another bar and McDonalds after this, having collected a nice party of stalkerazzi. I kept my head down, but instead of large glasses like Nicole Ricci, I put on my new pollution mask (houndstooth and very well insulated!) to hide my flashy, notorious features. That's just one of the burdens of being anonymously famous, which sometimes seem to outweigh the perks, which amount to something lik absolute zero.
On another note, I have been a bit sick lately. The receptionist at one of the schools offered to get me some medicine, and later that day I was gifted a small bottle of paste, a throat spray, and strange cough drops. I discovered that bottled medicine was DELICIOUS. It tastes like someone melted the inside of a york peppermint, added some herbs, put it in a jar, turned the York wrapper over and drew a new label. This is probably why it doesn't work well. This inadequacy of Chinese medicine is more than redeemed, however, by the miraculous powers of the cough drops. I had been taking the American version all day, and only succeeded in keeping my progressively worse voice and violent cough at bay. However, one Chinese cough drop later, I could speak, forget I even had a cough, and I actually felt my self esteem rise a few points. Which made me want to take another, and another... leading me to wonder whether other blooming starlets have suffered from it's highly addictive side effects as well. Perhaps in it's popular powdered form.
Today, I am working for 5 hours, with a 4 hours break in between classes. The watch I bought in Peru broke (causing me to panic when I thought it was 3:45 in the afternoon and I had slept through my classes, when it was actually only 8am), so I have to buy another one. An adult student gave me her shop's business card, so I think I'm going to buy one from her. Not only does it look like a quality shop, but she needs to practice her English. Or, I need her to practice her English so I can buy a watch. Also during the break, I'll probably head to Eat Street (the generic term for the multitude of streets that have many stalls and vendors selling various Chinese food at very cheap prices) for lunch. I have to make my appearances, and let the people know that I'm still around.
And that I still got it.
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